Here at Marmite And Mass Hysteria we feel it is time to use the blog for the first time as a weapon, rather than a tool.
The Advertiser local to our Headquaters has today published an article complaining that youths in Chester Le Street, a small town on the outskirts of Newcastle, are ruining the local angling groups' 'night time fishing expeditions' by 'gathering by a river to drink and take drugs', with 'children as young as eleven' involved! Apparently, the teenage presence makes that particular section of the angling clubs stretch of fishing water feel like a 'no go area'.
Clearly, we can see why the press, police and fishing society are so concerned. A shallow 200 yard part of a river that stretches the length of the local park and beyond where the fishermen can't go! It must severely jeapordise the fisherpeople's (we're not sexist here, unlike at The Advertiser) chances of having fun if a few students want to hang out somewhere in the town (where they might go a day without nearly being stabbed).
The Angling society also raised a particular complaint that often, the youths, who are often 'off their heads', are 'chucking bricks and bottles into the water'! Once again, we see the dire concerns of the Fisherpeople, who can see that throwing bottles and bricks into the water could seriously hurt any of the fish found in the river. In fact, the bottles and bricks could do almost as much damage to a fish as a sharp object could, such as a hook!(Editors note: Hooks are commonly found on the lines of fishing rods, used by fishermen, or as they are now known, fisherpeople). The fisherman interviewed in the advertiser goes on to say how although there have been no physical attacks, an OAP was hit by a brick last year.
Our correspondant in the area cleared this up and happily explained to us that the alleged brick incident was a the result of a faulty wall building device made by a group of young engineers who were relaxing under the bridge to escape the rain on that day. The journalist working for us was in the area as he was carrying out his own research in response to uproar from the well behaved and pleasant children who frequent the area who complained that the article both 'stereotyped and demonised them', making them out to be something they were entirely not.
Our correspondant in the area, who for reasons of national security can not be named also pointed out that many of the students he interviewed about the article had an entirely different story to tell.
One of the teenagers, know to his friends as 'Walker Crisp Rev Wig' , a frequent of the bridge, known to the people who frequent it as 'the V', explained that the children had always gone with good intentions but that over the course of the last year, the fishermen (or fisherpeople, as we were quick to remind 'Walker' ) have made the situation a lot worse.
In general, the feeling of the youths of the V is one of the truth, that we at the blog can justify to some degree. The fisherpeople areclearly trying to pin the blame on others before their fishing club goes to sleep with the fishes. As for the claims of abuse, these have been strenuously denied by the teenagers, who in their defense say that they can't ever remember saying anything bad to the fisherpeople - we don't talk to strangers - remember!
Marmite and Mass Hysteria urge you, our readers, to report any fishy business from members of the Angling society to the police, who need to know the truth, on this number: 0345-610-611-366.
Fight the cruel prejudice of the free, propoganda press and respond by spreading this more truthful article to all the V-goers who still want a good time away from the biased bothersome eyes vigilant law.
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